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| - me against the world, so many tears, life goes on, i aint mad atcha, picture me rollin, how long will they mourn me. thugz mansion - so yesterday was my best friend's funeral, it was very emotional. thru
the few couple of days after i had found out about his death, i had
just been emotionally dead after doing a lot of cryin on the day i
found out. but when i was asked to be one of the palbearers and i had
to see his name written on that coffin, and also knowing that he was in
there just brought me down. i dont kno if any of yall have ever
experienced it, but it wuz like, words just couldnt describe it, and
even the tears streaming down my eyes couldnt come close to defining
the pain. i miss him, sometimes i just cant help but think that this
whole thing is somehow my fault. but i guess thas life, its a bitch.
everytime i think about it, i equate my cousins life and death to that
of tupac, cuz j wuz just so much like pac, he died not giving a fuck
about his enemies, why should he? fuck em they can all go to hell. but
to those he loved, it wuz a whole different story, he was always trying
to make the world a better place, but i gues some ppl just aint built
like he wuz, but i am so im gonna stand up for wut we believed in
an ride in the memory of j.
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| wassup yall, today i found out that my dearest cousin, companion and
brother passed away in a car accident on thursday. you kno, even tho im
an actor myself, i've always thought that shit actors do in movies when
they hear that their child has been hurt is fake, like the whole
dropping the fone and just bursting in tears, i always thought that wuz
just being melodramatic to reinforce the emotions goign on. but now i
kno that it hurts like hell when you holdin that fone and they tell you
that your best friend is gone. i miss him, but i guess now theres
nothing i can do but cry and try to live my life. so in the memory of
my best friend im gonna d- up and ride again. i love an miss you j. RIP
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| cot damn its been a long time. wassup yall? life is a muthafucka right?
im all here tryin to do sumthin positive an shit jus gets spat right
back in my face. that aint right. but fuck it i'll survive, just try to
think of it as nothing. anywayz, i got bigger things to look forward
to. more later. holla!
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| - Overnight Celebrity - wassup yallz. im back wit that girl, so things are good now, she say she love me tooooooo............. thas all i really got to say, i swear my life wuz alot more interesting before i got to fuckin college, this is bullshit. got a class, im out. holla! | | |
| wassup yall, ever watched that movie van wilder? if you have, do you remember when van says that he feels like he got run over by a truck after richard told him that him an gwen are getting married? well thas how i feel right now:
there's this chic here at college, her name is monica, we met jus 2 weeks ago but we were in this relationship where it felt as if we'd known each other for a long time and on fri nite i told her i love her, cuz i really do as odd as it may sound for someone to say that to sum1 else after only 2 weex. but anywayz, she says to me that i must never say that to her again. then jus last nite, we're lying next to each other an she asks me why i said that to her an i tell her that its cuz its true, then she asks me not to love her. i asked her why an she said this to me:
im scared im gonna hurt u and that youll hate me forever.
a couple of years ago a friend of hers named gibson who bares a great resemblance to me drowned in some lake in kenya and ever since shes been horrified of not only water but also falling in love with anyone cuz she's scared she would lose them or do sumthing stupid an lose that person.
so ppl, i feel horrible, this is the first time i've felt like this in forever because we've now broken up b4 we even started.
so yea............. thas it for now, more for yall later. holla
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